Finding Strength in Vulnerability
My leadership journey has taken a few unexpected turns since I began my first Leadership Philosophy paper in my first graduate school class over two years ago. On my 49th birthday, I was finalizing my paper in a hotel room in Cannon Beach, Oregon. I found myself in a state of self-doubt, critically evaluating how far I had strayed from my North Star. Despite tears and moments of intense frustration and fear – that pivotal period marked a transformative experience for me as a leader.
What has challenged my understanding of leadership (and, in truth, surprised me a great deal), was how much learning I had to do about the prominent place of vulnerability in my leadership style. Before I began my studies and started on my Servant Leadership exploration, I did not realize the importance of showing vulnerability as a leader. As someone who has taken a great deal of pride in being “strong” and “courageous” and being seen as a place of support and safety for others, it was hard for me to come to terms with how I could reconcile those two facets of leadership. I realize now this challenge of my understanding is the most important part of who I am becoming as a leader. Vulnerability is authentic AND strong.
Authenticity, Trust, and Community
When reflecting on why I chose to study Organizational Leadership (particularly Servant Leadership), I often recount my experiences with poor leaders throughout my career. Experiencing the negative impact of inauthentic leadership, where leaders failed to “walk the talk,” has profoundly shaped my commitment to fostering trust within teams. I witnessed firsthand how poor leadership eroded trust swiftly, and it fueled my desire for something more, something better. I have personally experienced how impactful the lack of authentic, mutual dialogue can be on individuals, a team, and an entire organization. Leaders who do not encourage transparent dialogue based on truth and solid intent can be damaging on several levels within an organization. When leaders do not “walk the talk”, any trust previously earned can easily be eroded.
Vulnerability with Confidence
In January 2023, I made the decision to leave the company I had been with for over seven years and embarked on exploring new career opportunities. While looking at new roles, I connected with an exceptionally inspiring hiring manager. When I asked about her leadership style, she described it, without hesitation, as “vulnerability with confidence”. Embracing my own vulnerability, I took the leap and applied for a role on her team, fully expecting I would be told I was not the right fit once I interviewed. To my astonishment and delight, I was offered the position, and have been thriving in my new role since March of 2023. In this role, I have the support and encouragement to embrace my own personal work in progress: Building my product, technical, and organizational knowledge in a new industry. I had to dig deep into finding vulnerability with confidence – and share with my stakeholders and colleagues that I am learning a new space and need their help to build my understanding. (Even one year into this role, I am still learning, and will strive to continually embrace curiosity!)
I am now in a place where I can truly see how connection, community, and understanding stem from openness, vulnerability, and authenticity. I strive to create a safe and inclusive space where individuals feel they can openly express their fears, voice their questions, and share their thoughts. Dr. Brené Brown aptly stated: “We need whole people. We must find our way back to ourselves”. I seek to inspire others to find their way back to themselves, contributing to a workplace that values the entirety of everyone.
Strive for Integrity, Not Perfection
In the earlier exploration of my own leadership path, I identified how afraid I was to make mistakes – I had to be “perfect” to be taken seriously. The wisdom shared by Parker J. Palmer in “The Courage to Teach” (2017), is something I have returned to often since then. Palmer emphasizes how integrity is not synonymous with perfection. Instead, it is about becoming more real by acknowledging the entirety of who we are. I embrace leading by example, demonstrating both authenticity and integrity in every action. In doing so, I aim to inspire others to embrace their own paths, guided by their unique North Stars.
I realize perfection is not the ultimate destination in any endeavor, whether professional or personal. Rather, the essence of impactful leadership lies in commitment to core values, not in the pursuit of “flawlessness”. I continually draw inspiration from influential and inspiring leaders who prioritize authenticity over perfection. By doing so, I am contributing to an environment where individuals can embrace and celebrate their true selves; where they are aligning actions and growth with their own values. My leadership philosophy has strengthened to intertwine my personal values of authenticity and integrity, with a commitment to ownership that is genuine, open, and inquisitive.
The Journey Continues
Finding my North Star and embracing curiosity has involved celebrating failure as an integral part of the learning process. Mistakes serve as valuable lessons, propelling growth, and development. As I evolve on my leadership path, my commitment to learning remains a priority. I am fueled by an unending curiosity for innovative ideas and perspectives. I work towards fostering a culture which values continuous learning and encourages team members to explore, question, and innovate. Building on this foundation of integrity and authenticity, I chose to embrace vulnerability (including celebrating my own mistakes – both personally and professionally) as a powerful strength.
Today, I am proud to say I have found my North Star, and I am grateful to be part of an organization that encourages me to flourish. My leadership philosophy continues to grow – I see it as a dynamic and evolving commitment to curiosity, authenticity, integrity, continuous learning, and vulnerability. By celebrating failures as opportunities for growth, fostering curiosity, and creating an inclusive environment where vulnerability is embraced, I aim to inspire others on a journey towards their most authentic and whole selves. I am excited for the next chapter in my ongoing leadership journey, and I hope you’ll join me along the way!